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School School School [Mar. 3rd, 2010|03:44 pm]
So I think I figured out what I'm gonna do with my life, for now lol.

I decided that I am going to go to The Academy of Health Care Professions and get training in Medical Coding and Billing. I have been saying that I'm gonna go back to school ever since I dropped out after my freshman year of college because I was cut off financially by my parents. I went to community college and took a few courses but never really got serious about getting my associates. Then life happened, and I haven't opened anything besides a fiction, tabloid, or cooking book since lol.

My divorce will be final in May. Mark hasn't paid me a dime in child support or the temporary spousal support that was court ordered in months. From looking at statistics, there are ALOT of women that never even get the child support they were court ordered to receive. I just can't count on Mark to help financially with Jr. I will always pursue child support from him, but I can't rely on it.

With this economy, my friends that actually finished their schooling and got their bachelors degree...well half of them are moved back in with their parents and jobless. So, at this stage in my life I don't think a bachelors degree is what I want to pursue.

Medical Coding and Billing training with give me a skill that will enable me to get a decent job. I'm hopeful that after working a couple years in a doctors office, that I may be able to do this kind of work from home. The medical field seems like a rapidly growing industry, even with the economy and every time I look at job searches in the Austin area, doctors are always looking for billing and coding specialist.

The school is like $14,000. It's a 7 month course. It's expensive, but I'm praying that I will get more grants than loans and that this investment will pay off in the long run.

I'm excited to go for it. I am going to try to get everything done and start classes as soon as April 26th. I'm excited but I know that this will be ALOT of work! I have to find childcare for Jr while I go to school. The classes with be Mon-Thurs 8am-2:30pm! That seems so long! Lol. But I don't want to not take this opportunity while I'm motivated and feel ready to pursue this. Just another added to that long to do list!
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Lists [Mar. 1st, 2010|11:51 am]
1)Go to the post office and mail 30 day moving notice
2)Get a smog test and renew tags on my car
3)Contact Mark's commanding officer and try to get some kind of child support
4)Set appt for Jr to go to the dentist
5)Find out how poor people go to the dentist without insurance, because this cavity is hurting!
6)Get a copy of Jr's medicaid card so I can sin him up for that special needs program
7)Get Mark's information and send off for Tricare's ECHO program
9)Call a moving company for April 7th
10)Start Packing

Whoa. I feel overwhelmed. I have ALOT to do! April 12th-May 3rd me and Jr will be in California and Vegas and this list needs to get done BEFORE April 7th. I need to get on this stuff though, none if it can wait, it's been "waiting" for months. If only I had a personal assistant. Lol.
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four days goes by fast! [Feb. 24th, 2009|07:21 pm]
My best friend Alyssa, that I've known since 6th grade flew in from cali for a short visit on saturday and left this afternoon. We did everything from bar hop, to the movies, to massages and shopping. It was lots of fun, and exactly what I needed! I wish she could have stayed longer, but I'm so grateful she gave me a break from the caos.
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cleaning. ugh [Feb. 13th, 2009|09:09 am]
i dread cleaning. it is on the top of the list of my least LEAST favorite things to do. I always have tons of clutter because I dont really throw things away I just pile them in places that they cant be seen. sort of out of sight out of mind. but today, i am cleaning. i already cleaned out my car. it was so messy and my trunk was so full i couldnt even put my new stroller in it. so it was about time. but now all that trash and junk is sitting in my kitchen, waiting for some attention from me. ugh. i just hate it. but i better get it done while it's early and i have nothing else to do.
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day...whatever. [Feb. 13th, 2009|01:09 am]
So. I've been avoiding LJ. mostly because i just cant give up the drinking. i also decided against the anti depressents. thats just not the quick fix i want it to be, not at all.

in other news. i have an IUD to prevent pregancy and its been giving me like alot of issues latly. i had my period like a week and half ago, and all of a sudden this week i started bleeding and cramping again. first it was spotting but then it got to the point where i needed a pad. i went to the doctor. he did an ultra sound to make sure everything was in place and it is. the doctor is totally confused and so am i as to why all of a sudden i am having this problem. ive had the IUD for over a year. he gave me BC pills to take to regulate my cycle. hope it works. this is no fun.

i managed to lose my camera. the same camera that caught jr sitting up for the first time. im so mad at myself because i do not know HOW i managed to lose it. Ive called every resturant and place ive been too since monday when i lost it...nothing. Ive searched and searched the car and my friends car. i am just so mad, i cant replace those pictures or videos. man. it SUCKS. thankfully i put a ton on my myspace. but not all. not all.

i have been sleeping better. not tonight. but it's gotten ALOT better than it was. and im not on any pills or anything. so thats good.

ok. im gonna go back to sleep now.
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JUNIOR SAT UP FOR THE FIRST TIME! [Feb. 4th, 2009|09:24 am]
last night...i sat junior up on the bed, and normally he just falls back on the pillows, but he didn't. he got his balance and used his hands to rest on his knees like he has learned in therapy and he sat up on his own for a couple minutes!!!! then, he did it again this morning in the play room! i got it on camera and video!!! im so EXCITED! THIS IS BIG!

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DAY 10 [Jan. 30th, 2009|12:36 am]
I finally made it to the doctor. damn idiot wont give me any sleeping pills but he did give me happy pills. major dilema...anti-depressents and alchohol dont mix at all. the doc knows how much i drink but doesnt know the extent of my dependency. he basically said drinking is a non option though while taking the pills. i dont know what the hell to do.
instead of giving me sleeping pills, even though i havent had a good night sleep in like 10-11 days, he said to try tylenol pm. wtf? im so annoyed. monday im calling his ass. im gonna say the shit didnt work and to give me the real shit. i need to freaking SLEEP damnit.
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DAY 8 [Jan. 28th, 2009|09:49 am]
OK. So, today I got up and my car was completly iced over. Took thirty minutes with the heater on just to melt enough ice to see out the window.
I took jr to daycare. Then decided to go to the child support office. I thought I'd actually talk to someone while there, but yea right they just gave me this really long application and said to come back when I'm done.
Even after taking TWO sleeping pills last night, I only got maybe 4 hrs of sleep. I was tossing, turning, and it was really miserable because I'm so TIRED. but i cant sleep. it sucks.
But, I have my doc appt today at 1:30. I hope I can get some shut eye before that. Junior is at daycare and I dont have to go into work today. I really need to get some rest, like seriously.
That bottle of grey goose I bought is half empty.
Ok. I'm gonna go. I need to eat. Then try to sleep.
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day 7 cont... [Jan. 27th, 2009|05:08 am]
so its 5am. i've gotten like 4 hrs of sleep, maybe. the day is already here. no point of trying to sleep now. and even if i wanted to, i CAN'T. like I'm TIRED, but i can't go to sleep. I've done laundry. Now I'm gonna clean the kitchen, my most dreaded chore of all, and then it will be time to wake up jr, bathe him and get him all ready for day care. then it's the annual physical therapy thing. i got my first ssi check yesterday so i take it that means he now gets medicaid...which, omg, omg, if i wasnt going through everything else i would be more excited...but i am grateful.
i need to remember to bring up the fact that i want to enroll jr in a special needs school. ECI should be able to guide me in the right direction with that. i need to get on that as soon as possible.
oh yea and i have a doc appt for jr at 9:20 today...i found a cyst on his neck the other day, so i wanna get that checked out asap. i remember i had to get a cyst removed from my neck with i was younger...like 7 or 8 maybe. i really really hope this cyst is nothing. i dont need ANYTHING else to be bad right now. nothing. nada. zip.
oh and after the doc appt, i get to go to work. by the time i get to work around 11 i should be absolutly exhausted. if not before then. but there is nothing i can do about it now. ugh.
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the day after. [Jan. 26th, 2009|12:53 pm]
it's always the day after, that you regret your inability to fight the urge of pouring that vodka into that cup of ice and redbull the night before.

the day after you deal with the consequences. the people that you have hurt.

the day after you seek forgiveness from those that have been here with you before, or maybe are victims of your drunken escapades for the first time.

the day after the guilt fills your body, your lungs, your heart. you can't breath because your fearful of the consequences. you know that this all happened because of the alchohol. but nobody cares about that. they care that it was YOU. YOU fucked up. YOU are to blame. YOU did it, again.

the day after, I always make alot of promises. To myself and other people. I beg forgiveness. I promise change. But I can't always keep my promise. In fact I've never kept my promise. Not to anyone, not even myself.

it's the day after. i'm full of sorries. i'm full of promises. i'm full of regret, as always.
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